Showing Up to Connect: Be You, Do Less

showing up to connect

You can be the best brand designer on the internet. You can be the best bookkeeper or business coach that ever existed, but if people don’t connect with you and your message, you aren’t going to go very far because there are thousands of brand designers, bookkeepers, business coaches, etc. out there.

It’s not about being better or up-leveling your skills (although that is important). I’m not going to say that learning something new and improving isn’t important, but sometimes we forget that there are human beings behind every single business. Human beings that long for connection.

People want to buy from people. 

So often we find ourselves asking, “What else should I be doing? What’s the missing piece? Why am I doing all of this with little to nothing to show for it?”

First, this isn’t about adding more to your plate. This is about doing what you do well and maximizing it.

There is nothing else to add. I know you probably feel like you are spinning your wheels trying to do ALL THE THINGS. All the things it takes to make your business run. All the things the experts and “business leaders” are telling you to do to have a successful business. All the marketing and social media, and in-person events. ALL THE THINGS. 

And now what, Mandi? You’re telling me to add something else? Relationships? What’s your 10-step process? I’ll add it to my list!

Take a deeeeep breath. Let your shoulders relax. And maybe one more deep breath and let your shoulders drop about an inch lower.

Note: this content first appeared as a live video over on Facebook! If you’d rather watch than read, click below!

This isn’t about addition — it’s more about subtracting and then multiplying your efforts. Or maybe dividing your efforts, so you can multiply them. I was never good at math, but what I do know is this:

You are already doing so much. You are running on a treadmill when you really want to be out on the trail covering actual ground. The last thing I want to do AND the last thing I’m going to do is to give you one more thing to add to your list. 

What we have found is that when you align your strengths, your purpose, and your passion, you find clarity on where and how you need to be showing up. You are able to speak the message and live out the life that sets your soul on fire. 

So instead of showing up everywhere all the time, you will find your ONE platform. The ONE that you love, that you shine on, the one that lights you up, the one that aligns with who you are and your deeper purpose, and go ALL-IN there. 

That’s where you share your core message. That’s where you start the relationship. That’s where you activate your power and begin to see real movement.

I’m not saying you live here forever and never show up anywhere else, but you simplify your efforts so you have time to truly connect with the human beings that show up there.

Want in on the behind the scenes at She Can Coterie? That’s what I’m doing here. I’ve been going all-in on video content over on Facebook. I’m putting my time and energy there. I’m engaging there. But I’m not going to live there forever. This is the part where we multiply our impact.

I’m already using that valuable content I’ve created around my core message again, RIGHT HERE. I’ll use the video content for blog posts, email marketing, Instagram content, you name it!

I’m going all in, showing up in my strength, purpose, and passion . I’m simplifying it down to ONE place. Then we will amplify our efforts.

Next, you need to align your strength, your purpose, and your passion. This is your core message.

Like I mentioned at the beginning, this isn’t about being the BEST at what you do. This is about being the YOUest. And how do we show up as our truest selves?

We align our strength, purpose, and passion. This is truly the most unique combination. Someone else can design a website as well as you can, but they can’t copy your strength purpose and passion.

This is what makes you uniquely you. When you are uniquely you, you shine. When you are focusing where you are best, people will naturally be drawn to you.

Don’t settle for less. (Ever!) It’s just not you. When you lower your standards, you’re prevented from adding your greatest value and creating your biggest impact.

When you tap into this way of living and working, you’ll attract new clients, create a memorable brand, and make the impact you were born to create.

Your strengths, passion, and purpose make you different. It’s what makes you, YOU.

Now that you know that I’m not asking you to add anything to your plate, but to strip away all the things and ways of working that don’t align with who you UNIQUELY are, you might be overthinking what’s next.

Don’t overthink this. It should be what comes most naturally to you.

The way you show up and create relationships in real life should parallel the way you are showing up online. You don’t have to create a new, flashy version of yourself for Instagram. You don’t have to create a false reality. 

It’s the human beings we're forgetting about when we're busy hustling trying to be everything to everyone on every platform. Humans connect with humans, so show up in your humanity. In your realness. Show up how you are uniquely YOU.

Trying to be everything to everyone on every platform isn't how you start a relationship. That’s not how you make a friend. We don’t show up at five different places, dressed up like someone else, and start shouting at the top of our lungs what we're about. And just hope it resonates with someone.

If this were "real life," (which it is) you’d probably show up where it feels most natural. Your local coffee shop? You see the woman beside you reading Brené Brown. The next time she takes a break, you mention you just read Dare to Lead and it’s changed the way you view everything (because it did).

She says, “Oh my word! I know. I just watched her Netflix special and cried the whole time.”

Woah. Your personalities click and you each think, "Hey! There might be something here..." So you exchange names and maybe even phone numbers. She’s no longer a stranger.

In real life, you connect with people one at a time. You don't make friends by the masses, do you?

From here, you connect, tell her more about yourself, listen, question, and engage in conversation. You don’t just invite her over to your house for dinner. That would be awkward… But you probably make plans to meet up there again or go to that new art gallery (do people do that? In this scenario, they totally do.).

Probably after the first or second commitment, you’ve figured out if she’s a serial killer or not (listening to too many true crime podcasts over here), and you invite her over to watch The Bachelorette. Hey, you’ll even cook dinner!

Before she arrives, you probably make an effort in your house, right? You put away the pile of shoes by the door. Clear the clutter off the coffee table. Make sure the toilet paper is stocked and the hand towel is fresh. You light a candle so it smells inviting and homey.

When she shows up, you probably offer her a glass of wine. You’ve set the table even though you normally eat on the couch. You go the extra mile to make sure she feels welcome and taken care of. You watch the episode. You laugh at the same moments, roll your eyes in unison — y'all really do have so much in common!

The show is over, the dishes are put away, she heads home. This isn't the end, not at all! As with any new friend, you'll continue to engage, invite, and serve.

If you haven’t caught my drift by now, this is a giant metaphor for how we should be thinking about and treating people from our first contact through the time they become a client and offboard.

For too long we’ve been trying to do business the way that online marketers tell us to. We've followed all of their one-size-fits-all blueprints. We've tried to show up all the places. We've said yes to clients that weren't a great fit just to pay the bills.

It’s time to UNLEARN those smarmy schemes. And I get that they aren’t all smarmy, but so often they lack the humanity that we crave. We need to remember that there are living, breathing humans behind every computer screen. There are human hearts and minds that want to connect with us. 

It’s all about relationships over followings.

Relationships WORK, followings don’t. 

Relationships LAST, followings don’t. 

Relationships FULFILL, followings don’t. 

We want our clients to grow their businesses in a fulfilling, sustainable, and effective way by focusing on what works, lasts and fulfills - relationships.

I would love to hear one thing you’re taking away from this today. Is there anything you are going to put into practice?

And if you are ready to ditch the traditional marketing blueprints, the hustling, the showing up everywhere and not making your true, deepest impact, WE ARE TOO! 

You can schedule a call with us and we will see if our signature program, Align & Activate, is a fit for you. We help you play to your strengths, invest in relationships, and create a memorable brand doing the work that sets your soul on fire through our 12-week one-on-one program.