Why You Aren’t Attracting Your Ideal Clients

Why You Aren't Attracting Your Ideal Clients |

As a business owner, you might feel like you’re spinning your wheels and burning out in pursuit of meaning and purpose in your business. Trying to attract aligned and ideal clients while trying to stay on top of the current clients you have. Trying, trying, trying, but feeling like you aren’t making traction.

I have so been there too. I’ve been burnt out, have missed time with my family (isn’t it ironic that spending more time with family is one of the biggest reasons why women decide to work from home?), have spent time working with not ideal clients, and didn’t make the money that I should have been. (Side note: it’s okay to want to make a lot of money!)

Does any of that sound familiar?

When you’re trying to be everywhere and do everything, you aren’t speaking your message clearly.

And because you’re stuck in this hustle, you don’t have the bandwidth to do the amount of client pursuit to make the money you need. 

Because we don’t have time, you might be spending a TON of money in pursuit of quick fixes — buying that shiny course or blueprint, hiring and firing coaches, throwing up new offerings. 

When we’re in this cycle, we can start to feel like we’ve lost ourselves on the way. You might even feel disconnected from your business and the clients you are serving. 

You might be trying sleazy, “bro-marketing” that is (1) unethical, (2) just kind of gross, and (3) isn’t paying off because it’s so out of alignment with who you truly are. You might even find yourself going back and forth between a “burn it all down” and a “this is kind of working” mindset.

Are you feeling actual physical manifestations of the overwhelm and hustle? Desperation, financial anxiety, worry about the future, strained personal relationships, making rash decisions, eating a pint of ice cream every night, adrenal fatigue?

When we get to this place, we are desperate. Desperate for anything that will work. And that’s the energy that we are putting out. Scarcity energy will flow into your marketing, into your client work, and into your client relationships. That kind of energy is toxic and turns people away.

We don’t want to be here anymore. What would it look like if you were walking in alignment with you are and who you are meant to be? What would it look like if you were walking in your strengths and investing in relationships over “quick win” marketing?

Note: this content first appeared as a live video over on Facebook! If you’d rather watch than read, click below!

Do you want to know the root cause of this problem? We are out of alignment with our strengths, our passion, and our purpose. 

You aren’t pouring your energy into your strengths. You are spreading your efforts thin across too many avenues of marketing. You aren’t clearly communicating your message, so your brand experience is lacking. This is all keeping you from creating relationships.

What would it look like if you were aligned with your strength, passion, and purpose? This is where I want to LIVE. And it’s where I want you to live too.

Take a few minutes to journal your answers to these questions:

  • What are some highlights of who you are and your personality?

  • What do people praise about you?

  • What do you love and value about yourself?

  • What is your biggest passion?

  • What is your purpose? Why are you on this earth? What were you made for?

Now, only make decisions that are aligned with your answers. Invest in relationships that are in alignment with who you are and the impact you are here to create. Only work with clients that are aligned with this purpose. Only create a new offering when it comes from this place.

When we are walking in this alignment we are making a TRUE impact.

We will be working with aligned clients because like attracts like. We will be making more money.

Once we are walking in this alignment we are able to focus on building relationships. And what I’ve found to be true OVER and OVER is that :

Relationships WORK, followings don’t. 
Relationships LAST, followings don’t. 
Relationships FULFILL, followings don’t. 

We want our clients to grow their businesses in a fulfilling, sustainable, and effective way by focusing on what works, lasts, and fulfills: relationships.

I would love to hear one thing you’re taking away from this today. Is there anything you are going to put into practice? Let me know in the comments.

And if you are ready to ditch the traditional marketing blueprints, the hustling, the showing up everywhere and not making your true, deepest impact, WE ARE TOO! 

We’re sharing a guided journal to discover your relationship marketing strengths. And I’ll be sharing much more in the coming weeks about how this can work for you, your unique strengths, in your unique business.

Getting Ready to Hire: What You Need to Consider

Getting Ready to Hire |

So you’ve done the hard work of growing a beautiful business with recurring clients or a steady stream of new clients coming in. But with all this business landing at your doorstep, you’re having to turn people (and revenue!) away or you might be working 16 or 20 hour days (and nights!).

And, let’s face it, you’re probably doing work that you aren’t the best at — or might even dread — each week.

Hey, honey, it might be time to get ready to hire.

Don’t Do What I Did

Most people wait to get ready to hire until they're completely overwhelmed — don’t be that person.

See, that's exactly what happened to me before I hired my team. I had too much work and not enough time. I was working until the wee hours. I was forgetting to eat lunch. I was neglecting my relationships. And I was rapidly reaching my breaking point. Does any of this sound familiar?

I'll let you in on a little secret:
If you're considering hiring, you're ready

When you hire someone before you think you're ready, you're putting yourself in a position to succeed when your business starts to pick up and grow even more.

When I was drowning in work, I hired my first team member, Brittani. She took over all of the travel + bookkeeping tasks. When I was still feeling overwhelmed, we added another team member who helped take on some of the general admin tasks.

If you're considering hiring, you're ready.


Next came a specific hire for social media. This team came together and we were able to scale this business in ways I never could have expected. We are now a team of 10 and growing almost every month!

Are You Ready to Hire?

So often we are too busy working IN our business that we can't see outside of it.

Here are three questions to ask yourself before making the decision to hire a new team member:

  • Are you ready to grow your business faster than ever before?

  • Are you ready to invest in a team that will help you succeed?

  • Are there tasks within your business that you dread doing and would love nothing more than to delegate them to someone else?

If you answered YES to at least one of these questions, then you are ready to grow your team.

Seeing What’s Possible

Because you're in the day-to-day life of your business, it can be hard to imagine handing daily tasks off to someone else. After all, you've been 100% in charge of everything for 100% of the time since it started.

But here's what I want you to remember: you don't have to delegate EVERYTHING on the first day (and you SHOULDN'T). It’s not all or nothing. You can start slow and small. Something that held me back a lot, in the beginning, was the mindset that I was needing to hire a full-time team member and I would have to give them health insurance.

When is it the right time to hire?

  • You're ready for the next level

  • You have consistent revenue

  • You're overworked

  • There are parts of your business that other people could do better (hint : it’s time to hire an expert!)

What's stopping you?

Generally, it’s finances — ringing a bell? First things first, you need to get clear on how much space you have to spend.

  • What can you afford right now to invest?

  • Look at your financial projections. What do you expect to be making over the next 6 to 12 months?

  • If money is something that is worrying you, take a look at your expenses to see where you can you save money. Are you paying for an app or subscription that you haven’t actually been using? Pro tip: Check this out at least monthly on one of your money dates.

Who do I hire next?

First, we need to decide if you are looking to hire a generalist or a specialist. A generalist can take a lot of things off of your to-do list, but they aren’t necessarily an expert or coming at tasks or projects strategically. A specialist is going to take on a specific role in your business or come into your project with proven processes. A specialist is going to truly own the role and this helps for communication and delegation.

Now, get out a notebook or open a Google Doc because we are going to be asking ourselves a ton of questions:

  • What are the things holding you back, frustrating you, not in your category of brilliance?

  • Where do you spend the most time in your business?

  • What things do you enjoy doing for your business?

  • What things do you hate (or not enjoy) doing for your business?

  • What software/applications do you use on a regular basis in your business?

  • List out the daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly tasks for your business.

    • Using the listed tasks above, list every task that you really don't like doing. Or you put off until the last minute. (Or put off until forever).

    • How many tasks on that list already have a process to complete them?

    • How long does it usually take you (ballpark figure) to complete every task on that list?

    • Categorize every task on that list as either: Must Delegate (as in you can't ever bring yourself to do that thing again) and Would Be Nice To Delegate (meaning you're not enthused about that task, but you can get it done when you need to).

    • From there we need to put those tasks and projects into categories based on role.

  • How would you feel if you had someone supporting you here?

  • What is the end result that you're hoping for?

  • What is the time frame that I want this result in?

Take Some Time to Decide

Hiring is an investment, so you need to track the results you are hoping to achieve to make sure you reach that level. Give yourself a deadline to make sure that your choice is getting you to your desired result! This is a huge step in your business and something you should be excited about. Take this process one step at a time, and it won’t feel so overwhelming.


Just kidding, but this will give you first dibs on our newest content.

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    CEOs Know the Numbers: Book a Money Date with Yourself

    CEOs Know the Numbers |

    I have a confession. For the first three years of my business I only looked at the “numbers” when it was payday or when I was making a big purchase.

    And by “looked at the numbers,” I mean I looked at the amount in my checking and savings accounts — and nothing more.

    As my business grew in clientele, team structure, and ultimately profits, I began to feel buried by the weight of the unknown. What was my overall growth strategy for the financial health of She Can Coterie? By what rate were we growing? What did the influx of money in vs. money out look like?

    I couldn’t answer these questions, but as CEO, I knew I had to. So, I implemented something super sexy — a weekly date between myself and my numbers (hot stuff, I know).

    Since implementing these weekly money dates, I’ve not only seen the numbers grow and grow over time, I’ve learned what to look for by noticing trends and have saved money by simply being aware. And that’s the goal, right?

    I have had to overcome some blocks and limiting beliefs around money — as have many of you, I’m sure. But so much of it was solved by simply taking the time to look at my numbers during my weekly money dates.

    Why are money dates important?

    When I first started these money dates with myself, I had no real gauge of what was happening in my business. Sure, clients were coming in, clients were leaving, we were growing, etc., but it was all vague highs and lows.

    When you set aside time to look at the numbers you actually see what’s happening with your money.

    When you know the numbers behind your biz, you can confidently move into the right decisions.


    When you know the numbers you are empowered to make decisions. What are the next moves you need to make? Can you make that hire? Can you invest in that learning or software?

    When you know the numbers behind your biz, you can confidently move into the right decisions.

    Our whole goal here is to move you from manager to CEO, and knowing the numbers trains your brain to think like a CEO.

    CEOs have a business plan and cash flow forecast. They are able to “talk finances” to granting and lending bodies. And, they look for and cultivate the best members for their team, rather than spend their time looking for clients.

    With your eye on all of this, you’re setting your sites on a future of growth and expansion.

    How often and when should I have a money date?

    Consistency is key here. While I recommend a weekly date to really stay on top of the numbers, a money date each month can work as well.

    A caveat: your goal is to remain connected to your numbers. No matter when you sit down for your money date, you want to be checking your balances and statements at least once a week.

    Because money can cause stress, anxiety, and negative thoughts (I speak from experience here), it’s best to choose a day and time that is a low key as possible. Don’t do your money date at the end of a day filled with client calls or when you have a stressful client due date.

    You want to come in with a clear, positive mindset. For me, sometimes the weekend is best.

    Ultimately, the when doesn’t matter, it’s the consistency that matters most.

    What do I need to have ready for a money date?

    To get ready, you’ll need to gather a few key things. To start, where do all of your numbers live? You’ll need to have all of the documents, apps, spreadsheets, budgets, statements, etc. open and readily available.

    You’ll also need your planner or a place to take notes. I always have my May Designs journal next to me.

    From there, it’s about making this time a little bit luxurious. Light a candle. Treat yourself with your favorite iced latte and warm chocolate chip cookie. Whatever is going to make this feel good.

    HINT : It’s probably best to save the glass of wine as a celebration for when you make it through.

    Okay, but now what do I actually do?

    Let’s get to work, CEO!

    1. First we track the numbers. Open all documents, bank accounts, trackers, spreadsheets and budgets. Get it all in front of you and track your week’s activity. We use Xero for our bookkeeping — everything is set up to automatically sync there and our bookkeeper will reconcile monthly.

    2. Next we look ahead to what’s coming up. This is one of the best parts of money dates. There are less surprises in the middle of your week. No more overdrawn accounts, no more unpaid bills. You take this intentional time to see what bills are coming due and what income you are expecting. Take a look at your budget to see if money is available for these bills that are coming up. Take a look at any upcoming travel or client meetings and make sure that money is set aside for these events.

    3. What did we notice? I should have said this from the start, but come to this with an objective mind. Remove any connection or emotion from the numbers you are seeing. Money has left, money is coming in, money is remaining. Let’s notice the flow.

      • Let’s take a look at where our spending from the previous week. Is there anything that stands out that we should be aware of in the future? One to many Starbucks visits? Just me? Kk.

      • How are we doing on our budgeting? Have we overspent our budget? Have we over-allocated (this is a dream scenario, amiright?)

      • Let’s notice these numbers and move to the next step.

    4. What do we need to adjust? This is where we make a plan for things we noticed. No shame, no judgement, just planning for next week when we will make better choices.

    This is always part of the discipline talk with my three year old:

    • We didn’t make the best choices

    • There are consequences to poor choices

    • What better choices are we going to make next time?

    • Ask for forgiveness, receive forgiveness

    • Hugs and kisses

    • Move forward

    Still applicable for us. Do we need to plan for one less iced latte? Do we need to move more money into our hiring budget? What better choice can we make next week?

    Ask for and give yourself forgiveness. Say “I love you, you are doing your best.” Now we move forward.

    Now that we’re moving forward, how do we keep ourselves motivated to continue this work? This all depends on what motivates you, but here are a few helpful things I’ve seen work.

    • Visual trackers can be a great way to see the progress you are making that can’t always be easily shown in a spreadsheet.

    • You can reward yourself for hitting specific milestones. Now remember, your reward can be a new pair of shoes or the Airpods you’ve been wanting, not a trip to Bali. We don’t want to throw away our hard work in the name of celebration.

    • Save your favorite cafe or fancy dinner for your money date. By pairing it with something extra special, you will begin to look forward to the date each week or month.

    • Find someone to keep you accountable. This can be your biz bestie or your accountant — which leads me to MY favorite way to stay accountable.

    • Find a professional to help you. Kandis, our bookkeeper, has revolutionized my business in that she is also on top of what’s going on with the numbers. She helps me forecast, see where we aren’t spending wisely, and, BONUS, prepares everything I need for my CPA come tax time. Trust me, you need Kandis in your life.

    Let’s take control of our money together, shall we?

    Begin by simply being willing to approach those limiting beliefs, make a date with yourself that you look forward to, and take it one week at a time. Trust me, this time next year you’ll be a more profitable, happier CEO.


    Just kidding, but this will give you first dibs on our newest content.

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